I really do not feel that I can adequately put into words how this day has shaped my life. For a long time, I did not like Christmas because of the memories that would come flooding back to me about this day. I can not begin to put into words how much I love my grandpa and how much he meant to me.
Ten years ago, this December 26, my world stopped.
This day will be be burned into my memory and my heart forever.
This day will not be remembered in a good way.
Because nothing good came from this day.
I woke very early the morning after Christmas to the phone ringing and my mother screaming for me to get up, we had to leave the house very quickly. I remember waking up and knowing instantly that something was horribly wrong. I remember running down the stairs in my pajama's looking for my coat and shoes. My younger sister must have heard what was going and because she was up and in the car with us before we could even ask our mother what was going on.
All we knew was that we had to come quick.
The three of use were in the car taking off down the road, still in our pajamas and still sleepy from just having woken up. My sister and I had not idea what was going on.
And then my mom spoke.
She said the words that I had been dreading. My grandpa was dying. We had to go quick if we wanted to say goodbye.
I remember the three of us praying in the car together. My mom was praying that we made it to my grandparents house in time to say our final goodbyes.
I was praying that none of this was happening. I prayed that somehow my dear beloved grandpa would pull through. I prayed hard and fast, begging God not to take him. He was too young.
But, it was too late. When we arrived at my grandparents house, he was gone.
I didn't get a chance to tell him how much I loved him, or that he meant the world to me. Or that the reason my childhood was so happy and filled with joy and love was because he played such a huge important role in it. All of my happy joyous childhood memories involved him. He was the perfect example of what love is and should be.
I was too late.
To say all of the things that I felt.