The BEST gift.

The best gift that I have ever received from my hubby was given to me as a complete surprise, 5 years ago this weekend!! My darling hubby surprised me with an adorable puppy that I had been wanting for years, but had just never lived in the right place (a rental that didn't accept dogs).

We had just married, moved into our new home and I could not stop talking about how much I wanted a puppy! I NEEDED a puppy, I told my husband. I had grown up with a dog and to me it just did not seem right or natural even that we didn't have doggie! My husband was on board with getting a pup, he just wanted to make sure it was the right time, you know, after we were married and moved into our cute little house. Like I said I talked about this for months, before we were even married.

One afternoon he surprised me with the cutest puppy ever! My hubby found our perfect pooch an hour down the road from us! I loved this little dog the minute I met him! He was perfect for us, me especially! The little guy was full of personality, and had a mind of his own (kind of like someone else I know!). I named our new pup Oliver right away and he has since had many many nicknames in the last five years. Hubs likes to call him "phatty" with a def PH thank you very much. If you met Oliver, you would know why. He is the most adorable dog on the planet and he knows it! He can rock a little attitude like no other!

I call him "Booboo". He is after all a mommas boy and reserves most of his love and affection for me. Booboo is no one's fool, he knows who buys him the good treats!! This bundle of love has been in my life for 5 years now. I could not imagine my life without him.

I want to be a mommy......

More than anything.

I have been married to my wonderful husband for 5 years now. We have a very blessed life, and I am incredibly thankful everyday for the life that I am living. I have a wonderful little dog, aka Booboo, that my husband gave me right after we got married. I have a terrific supportive family and great friends. Yet something is missing.

I want a baby. Badly.

No one told me it was going to be this hard to get pregnant. Women get pregnant everyday. Some on purpose and some on accident. I never in a million years would have thought it would be this difficult.

I have hypo-thyroidism, which makes it harder to get pregnant to begin with, but not that much harder. I see an endocrinologist a couple times a year to test my TSH levels and adjust my dose of synthroid. I have been told that I have PCOS. The nurse at the time told me over the
phone that I would never have children. Who tells someone this kind of life-changing
news over the phone? I was deeply devastated. I went through some tests, and was put on meds that made me so sick I couldn't get off the couch. I couldn't eat because the meds made me so nauseous I couldn't keep anything down. Not even water. Thank God my husband called the doc about how sick the meds were making me and we were referred to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).

The RE ran more tests and finally determined that I do NOT have PCOS. Hallelujah!!!!!!

The doc said just "keep trying". It will happen for you! You will have a baby!

Months have gone by. Every month I get so excited to take the pg test. I daydream of how I will tell my husband that we are going to be parents. Every month I am disappointed.

I have so many friends that have babies or are pregnant! I can't log on to Facebook without seeing a friend announce that they are expecting!!! I am soooo happy for them! Really I am! It just hurts a little tiny bit deep down inside my heart. This is all I want. One healthy baby. I don't have to have 2 or 3 or 4. I will be happy with just one.

Just one. This is what I pray for everyday. Just one, I ask God.

A huge reason why I gave up my job and career is because so many docs were telling me I was too stressed to conceive. That is how badly I want to be a mommy. Money and material things don't mean much at all when the one thing you want more than anything in the world is to be a mommy.

Please God. Just one.

Remembering Ryan White.....

I didn't start out wanting to write about Ryan White, or HIV/AIDs for that matter. I find that even the age that we live in most people do not want to talk about AIDS. We can talk and debate about so many topics as a society esp with the advances in social media. Yet, this topic still makes people uncomfortable. People still lower their voice when talking about HIV.

I am here in DC this week with my hubby as part of a work trip for him. There is a conference going on here. A BIG conference. People are everywhere, which of course makes me crazy nervous. I was wondering what the heck all of these people were doing in this hotel, I mean does NO ONE work anymore? Then I saw a sign, with a picture of a boy that I recognized. It was Ryan White. I was practically standing in the middle of the registration line as people were checking in for this conference. I remember years ago there was a movie about Ryan White and what he had to go through and what his poor mother had to endure for him because she loved him. I remember that people were so mean to him and treated him terribly because of something they didn't understand. Wow. If we only knew then what we know now. Look at all the advances we have made in fighting HIV.

Ryan White really did struggle for a long time and no one took the time to understand what was going on with him, in his life. He struggled with a horrible disease that no one wants or should even have especially if you are an innocent child. We take so much for granted in this world, our health being one of the biggest. And this is what got me thinking, by seeing this conference take place in honor of him.

I think we need to realize that we never really know what struggles people are going through. Or how they got there. We need to be less judgmental and more supportive of each other. We need to be more empathetic and more patient with each other, because we never know what is going on in someone else's life.

I am not trying to preach to you or to even make you feel bad. Seeing Ryan White's face all over the hotel just reminded to never judge anyone, ever. Because we all have our own struggles to go through.

Welcome to Hollywood---part 2

So it was quite an adventure that I had shopping on Rodeo Dr.!!! By the time I had taken hubs into every store that I had ever dreamed about going into and trying on all kinds of clothes, jewelry and Jimmy Choo's, while hubs patiently watched me parade around the store in, we were starving! Hubs came up with an idea to drive us to Malibu and go to dinner on the beach!! So I got to drive along the PCH, again!! Twice in one day!! This was turning out to be one of the best days I have ever had on vacation! Drove the PCH, shopping on Rodeo, and meeting a lot of new people who were following their dreams right there in LA!

Hubs decided to take me to a restaurant that he had been to before while he was out there for work the year before. I told him that I didn't want him to take me to a place he had already experienced! But hubs insisted that we go to this restaurant! I am so glad that I listened to him, he usually is right! Just don't let him know I think that! Ok?

We pulled up to Geoffrey's Restaurant in Malibu and it was right on the beach! We were offered prime seating overlooking the ocean! They had a great cocktail list (not as good as the Penthouse though ;)) and we each ordered something we had never tried before! I ordered bubbly with some sort of lemon flavor in it!!!! Soooooo good!!!!! We had an appetizer of Moroccan shrimp, and I had the most fantastic scallops served with orzo!!! To die for! As if that wasn't enough hubs and I both had dessert!! Chocolate creme brûlée and bread pudding!!!! The desserts, esp the chocolate creme brûlée, made me want to sing from the rooftops!!! I was so stuffed, I had to waddle out of the restaurant!!

We were having a fantastic time and did not want the night to end! So we headed back to The Penthouse in Santa Monica for more amazing cocktails! As you can prob tell by now I love to eat and I def enjoy a good cocktail!! After a couple more martinis we went back to the hotel! We aren't as young as we used to be and can't stay out like we used to! Plus, a girl needs her beauty sleep! And I had the day planned for us tomorrow!! I wanted to desperately see the Chinese theater and the boulevard of stars!

The next day we did just that!!!

Holy Crap!!!

Why didn't someone warn me there would be hundreds if not thousands of people in front of the Chinese theater?!?!?!? Where did all these people come from? Was there some sort of free giveaway I didn't know about? Nope! No giveaway! No celebrities either! Just tourists doing the same thing I was doing! I get very anxious in large crowds so after about an hour of being pushed around in that crazy mob scene I had to get out of there! Pronto!!! It was very overwhelming for me and I could not wait to get back inside the safety of my car!

I have never been so happy to be back in a car with my hubby driving us away from that madness!!! Too much for this girl to handle! My hubs suggested that we go to this shopping area in LA called the Grove! For some reason he was dying to check it out! I had no idea why since I just took the poor guy to Rodeo Dr the day before. As we were driving along (I eventually started to calm down after the previous mob scene) hubs told me to check out his Facebook page from my iPhone. Why would he want me to do that? Hadn't I been with him for the past 72 hours straight and knew everything he was doing? But I checked anyway. He had written in his status that he was taking his wife (that would be me!) to the Apple store to buy her (me again!) a new iPad!! Holy Shiz!!!!! How did I get so lucky??? And he was being serious!! The next thing I knew we were in the Apple store!! You see, the whole time we were in LA I was talking non stop about wanting to start my own blog about this new adventure I was beginning! I think hubs got sick of hearing about it I went on and on so much!! I had the "epiphany" that a blog was my next step on my adventure during dinner at The Penthouse in Santa Monica after I had spent the day talking to people who were following their dreams and making it their reality! Why couldn't I dream big and make it my reality? If they could do it, well then so could I!!

So, here I am writing my blog on my brand new iPad!! Thanking God that I am able to dream again and dream big!! I thought that I had lost myself and the ability to dream at all while I was in the corporate world! But all of that is behind me now! Thank God I have such an amazing supportive hubby who is allowing me to follow my dreams!!!!

Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? This is Hollywood, land of dreams!!!!

Hollywood!!! Land of Dreams!! I could not believe that I was going to LA, literally 3 days after my "retirement" from the corporate world! I was going with hubby as part of a work trip for him, pure vacation for me! Lucky me, huh?

We left last Tuesday night from the east coast and arrived in LA around 9pm! We were a little jet lagged especially after we rented the car and then made the drive to our hotel in Marina del Rey. Which is literally right outside of LA! We were lucky enough to stay at the Ritz Carlton in Marina del Rey (on Marriott points of course!) so the stay was completely free! Don't think I have the kind of money to stay at a Ritz for 3 nights! So anyways, back to our stay! The Ritz Carlton was unbelievable! I mean, it IS the Ritz! It sat right on the water and it was beautiful and plush and all the things you hope it would be for such a primo hotel! However, my heart will always ALWAYS belong to the Ritz Carlton Central Park in NYC!!! Again stayed 5 nights on my points!!! Woo hoo!!! Best hotel in my book and service was outstanding. We have never been treated so well! George if you are out there reading this someday, your graciousness and kindness was deeply appreciated! You set the standard for which I compare all of my hotel stays to!!!!!

Whoa.....I just got off track in my LOVE for NYC and my new buddy George! Simply the best! So back to LA! What an a amazing time we had! On Wednesday hubby had to go to his home office for
a whole day of work which left me to do anything that I wanted! This was a very hard
decision for me as I am not used to relaxing, I am very type A and I had just left my career
behind 4 days prior! It was a pretty uncomfortable feeling knowing I had the whole day to
myself and could do whatever! Since this is foreign territory for me, I decided to read. That is what I love to do and do it well! So, I read my brand new book without interruption, POOLSIDE!!! Ahhhhhh.......heaven!!!! It did take me several hours before I could relax and feel as if it were ok for me to just "chill"! I am still trying to get used to it! It was a
great day! I finished my entire book, took a nap (which I never do, because I am usually too keyed up to unwind)! Wow!! I loved my day! I could get used to this!

Hubs returned from his day at the home office and was excited because he had a surprise for
me! Dinner reservations at The Penthouse restaurant in the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica!! (he
knows the way to my heart is through food)! I was beyond ecstatic!!! We got dressed and
headed to Santa Monica for some yummy dinner! This is the first time me and hubs have been to
the west coast together so all of this was a new experience for us!

Wow! The Penthouse at the Huntley was AMaZIng!!!!! They had the BEST cocktails/martinis I have ever had. Ever. I know what good drinks are too, trust me;). The view from the restaurant was
awesome! Top floor and you could see the Pacific on one side and the city on the other!
Beautiful! The place was on the trendy/hip side. Which always makes me feel a little
intimidated. However our waitress was so nice and made us feel so comfortable. Really anyone
could go there, no matter what age or how "trendy" you are. This is just one of my own
little insecurities.

Hubs and I started out with a martini. They are made with gin, all of them for the most part. I do not like gin. At all. I am a die-hard vodka girl! But the kind waitress promised me
they were good and that I would not be able to tell that they were made with gin! All of
their martinis are infused with fresh fruit. So I settled on having the bubbles kiwi martini! Which is gin, champagne,and fresh infused kiwis! Doesn't sound that great, but it was out of this world! Boy was our waitress right! Could not taste the gin at all and I just might have the BEST drink I have ever had! I could drink those martinis all day! Which could get me into some serious trouble! The best part about the drinks? They were not skimpy in size! You really did get what you paid for. Which is completely unheard of, esp in LA!

Our food was to die for! Hubs and I started out with grilled flatbread with mozzarella and
fire roasted tomatoes!!! OMG!! Heaven! Hubs got steak for dinner, melted in your mouth and I had the best salmon that has ever crossed my lips! Unreal!! Several more gin martinis later, it was time to go. We were exhausted due to the time difference and headed back to our hotel! Via cab!!! Of course! I do NOT condone drinking and driving!!

The next morning we did something that will live on in my memories and my soul.....forever.
My hubby wanted to take a drive along the PCH early in the morning before most people were up
and def before rush hour! Oh my, I can't even begin to tell you how devastatingly beautiful
of a drive it was. We headed north (we were told by the hotel this was the best way to go)
and the sun was just starting to peak through the clouds making the hills and the canyon roads
a pale pink color! The ocean off to our left was breathtaking! Multiple shades of blue and

wanted to be a functional human for this drive!) Off we went with our coffee in hand and drove
for miles and miles!! Through Santa Monica, Malibu, and lord knows where else! You know
there is a God when you see the sun gleaming through the clouds and the fog lifting from the
mountains to reveal the never ending glistening ocean! I was dying inside!!! I loved it here!!
I was begging hubs to move us here ASAP!! Now I have heard a lot of good and not so good
about LA!! I don't care!! I am a girl in LOVE with Cali!!! We drove for hours and I didn't
want to stop or go back! I was loving every minute of our drive together! I even told hubs I
could drive looking at the ocean all day long!! I really could have too!! Until my sweet
hubby uttered the words "want to go to Rodeo Dr?". Of course I did, baby!!

Off to Rodeo we went! We had a great lunch sitting outside on the Sunset strip. Hubs swore
there were 2 older actors sitting behind us!! While I LOOOooovvvve oogling over celebs, I could not have cared less at that moment who they were!! I was DYING to get to the famous Rodeo Dr.! I don't remember where we had lunch, or what we had. I had bigger things on my mind!!!

Shopping!!!!!

Now, this is a little unknown secret about me, that people would probably never guess. I am
NOT a big shopper! I have to be in the mood to shop. And I can't shop for too long!! It drives
me crazy!!! But I wanted so badly to experience Rodeo Dr!! So off we went again!!

I took my poor hubby in every major designer store! I tried on everything!!! So luxurious! Sooooooo.......expensive!!!!! But the people in the stores were so incredibly nice to us, even
though we didn't buy one thing (couldn't afford it!). Every store we went into was like a
little slice of paradise for me!! Thanks to my dear hubby for allowing me this experience to
dream as if I were a princess!

After talking with people in the stores, I realized that everyone had come to LA from
different parts of the country, the world even!!! Everyone came with a dream in mind! And they
were there to achieve it! I was just there to experience it!! But I was so amazed and
inspired that everyone I was meeting was there to achieve their lifelong dreams and goals!
Now not everyone was there to become the next Julia Roberts or Richard Gere!!! They all had
different passions and opinions about what they wanted out of life.

It was in LA that I discovered what I wanted to do next!!! Yes, I seem to have these
epiphanies while I am traveling!! Maybe that is why I like to travel so much!!

This is not the end of our trip! Or my epiphany!! Stay tuned for part 2!!

Reflections.......

So, it has been 2 weeks since I "officially" retired from the corporate world! I have not had much time to think about my departure from the sales world as I have been in Cali for a week and home for 5 days. Today was the first day that I have had time to think about what it means to leave my career behind and embark on this new journey.

I am very excited to start this new chapter in my life, but my heart and soul are still a little raw from the experiences the last 9 years have brought me. Don't misunderstand, I am grateful that I had such a great career and thank my lucky stars that I met some truly awesome people along the way. But not every day was easy and I definitely learned a lot about the world, the people around me and especially myself.

Here is some of the things I have learned:

1. It really is a dog eat dog world out there! It is a saying for a reason!
2. People are not always who they say they are. What I mean is, people will show you who they are through their actions, not words! Talk is cheap!!!
3. I MUST start everyday with coffee or I am a completely non-functioning human! Don't even talk to me until I have finished my first cup!
4. The only people you can really count on in your life is God, your family, and your little white dog Booboo!
5. Thank goodness my husband and my sister are in the corporate sales world as well! Gives me someone to bitch to during those 2 hour drives!
6. In life it really is all about who you know!
7. I never really come right out and say I am hungry when working with colleagues! I just start talking about food and do not stop until I am fed!
8. You really can do anything as long as long as you remain focused on that goal! Don't ever lose sight of what you want!
9. The best always rise to the top!
10. The most important things in life really are free!!

My life needs a time out!

So, here I am 32 years old and in desperate need for a time out in my life! Why? You might ask? Well, I am completely burned out of my corporate sales job that I have been in for the last 9 years of my life. The stress of the job was taking a huge toll on me and every aspect of my life! I came to a decision and took an enormous leap of faith, and QUIT my successful yet insanely stressful career in sales!

I had an epiphany recently that life is to be enjoyed, not just lived going through the hum-drum motions of everyday life. I had this epiphany in May in Costa Rica in the pool (of all places) while praying to God. You see, I was totally frazzled with my job and completely burnt out. This is not how I wanted to live my life. Stressed out, overly emotional, constant headaches, you get the picture. So over the next couple of months, yes that is right! It took me several months before I worked up enough courage to make this leap! One evening in July I called my boss and told him I was done. Finished. I had enough of this and wanted my life my way! Needless to say he was a bit shocked, but I told him that I had to do this for me and for husband. I told him that I was not leaving for another job. I just needed a break to get "back" the old me.


So, 4 weeks later here I am! Doing what? Following my dreams! Thankfully I married the most amazing man in the world and he is super supportive of me and my dreams! And boy do I have BIG dreams! I am so happy I made this leap of faith. I really have no idea what I am doing or where I am going yet. But that is what a leap of faith is! Trusting yourself and God. I am not doing this alone. I have my awesome hubby and my cute little dog and the support of family and friends. It is scary. Yes. And I am NOT the type of person who just up and quits a career. I am very type A. That is why I still am sitting here pinching myself that I actually had the balls to do this!